Emotional Fitness

I put introverts first in this title, because it is the tag I identify with first and foremost.  I am most definitely a pure bred introvert myself.  If we visualise a sliding scale beginning at number 1 for pure bred introverts like myself, then slide up to number five we will find the ambivert personality comfortably sitting there in the middle.  Then continuing on up the scale if we go all the way to number 10 we will meet the pure bred extroverts smiling and chatting like the little rays of sunshine that they are, with all their mates.  Like my husband and a couple of my dearest girlfrie Read more »

As an impatient emotional virgin back in 1995, it was explained to me that the reason I didnt have any deep intimate relationships in my life was because 'Intimacy takes time, so if I didn't make time, I wouldn't have intimacy'.  These words of wisdom were shared with me when I got clean and sober fourteen years ago.

Taking time, my God, instant gratification was my specialty.  The thought of taking time, being patient and considerate sounded like math's homework to me, to be honest.

I was curious about this word intimacy and what it involved.  Read more »

Three divine days in Paradise The sun, sand, surf, sex, sleep, snuggles and spectacular sunsets. The photo above is of the view from our verandah of beautiful Moreton Island.

One would think this combination would emotionally re fuel most people. By my third evening away on Moreton Island, with all of the above filling my days and nights, I was out of emotional fuel. I found myself running on empty and had to put myself to bed early. Read more »

“Conflict is a part of every growing and healthy relationship.” My therapist (The Gentle Giant) said to me slowly and clearly in my session last night.

“It is normal and natural to disagree, and to sometimes be unbalanced when you do.” I know he was stating the obvious but somewhere along the way in my 47 years of life I have always thought that if I felt conflicted about an issue with another person, that somehow I must be in the wrong. Read more »

Who hasn’t had dark thoughts about wishing that all the people and things in our lives that give us the shits would go away forever?

That was a big part of the attraction for me in “getting blind” or “getting out of it”. Booze, pills and drugs, seemed to be a very effective solution for me (prior to my recovery that commenced in 1995) in making all the difficult stuff in life go away … for a little while anyway. Read more »

Bossyfussbum is a perfect title for me when I am emotionally out of balance.  When my hearts GPS system has gone off line I become controlling, pedantic and quite frankly a pain in the bum!

I use this term with myself affectionately as it tickles my sense of humour and helps me have a good laugh at myself.  It helps me immensely if I don’t take myself too seriously or punish myself for not being everything to everyone, all the time. Read more »

If you’re not into the whole concept of marriage, change the question to, ‘Would you have a long term committed relationship with you’?

Fourteen years ago when I was a fear fuelled, firm bodied female aged 33, my answer to this question( if I could have been honest with myself long enough to answer, which was most unlikely) would most definitely have been “No Fuckin’ Way!”

Today aged 47 with more wrinkles, hail damage (cellulite) and gravity taking its humorous toll on my loyal body, my answer to this question would now be, “Absolutely”. Read more »

For some leaving a relationship and for others staying in one requires divorcing ourselves from our own heart and self respect. The relationship may be with another person, a career, a member of our biological family, our birth country or perhaps even our lifestyle. Read more »

A few years ago, my wallet got lifted from my briefcase whilst I was working on my laptop from a busy inner city coffee shop in the heart of Sydney.  I didn’t notice it was gone until after I had given my keynote presentation on “Emotional Fitness”.  I was leaving the podium and went to give a delegate my business card to find my wallet had been stolen. Read more »

“Are you going for a bike ride?” I enquired as my husband’s naked frame walked around the bed with something in his hand.  “No I am coming back to bed Sweetheart” he quietly responded as one often whispers at dawn even though no-one else could hear him in our holiday apartment.  The kids have gone back to Brisbane and our friends don’t arrive until this evening to share New Years Eve with us here in Noosa, so there is only us here this morning. Read more »