Emotional Fitness

Recovery circles have been using the HALT reminder for decades. 

If you identify with being a high stimulus personality yourself, like me, or have a relationship with someone who always seems to be looking for more, you might find this blog of interest. Read more »

I always loved that song that "The Eagles" sing called "Desperado".  Every time I hear the lyrics I visualize a dusty faced cowboy whose only real relationship he has in his life is to his horse and to the ever changing landscape that he consistently searches .... looking for a place to stay .... but only ever for a little while, he is an emotional drifter who keeps on the move.  Read more »

Beneath our anger we discover our fears, beneath our rage we discover our trauma.

Often the view is taken in life that the angry person in any situation is always in the wrong.  Many of us are told as children that to be angry is bad, dysfunctional, unspiritual and unloving.  Therefore as adults we can fall into the habit of becoming angry at ourselves and others for being angry, because we believe it immediately makes us or them wrong. Read more »

They say when one door closes another one opens, but there times in our lives when it seems that doors don't just gently close on us, sometimes it feels like they are slammed shut in our faces. 

When relationships, careers, health issues and commitments previously made don't unfold as we had hoped they would, for whatever reason, we are then faced with having to swallow and emotionally digest the bitter taste of disappointment. Read more »

Anger, Jealousy, Hate, Resentment and Gluttony .... These are what I call the  High Five of Fears that most of us reluctantly face at least once or twice in our lifetime. 

Fear within our heart creates toxins; emotional manure if you like, that can either be dumped or responsibly recycled.  Planting love in our hearts is like planting trees, it provides beauty, life, and a future.  Fear is like a toxic weed that strangles Love and life's potential if left unattended.  Read more »

'Everyone has the right to be angry, but no-one has the right to be cruel'. 

I was told this clear truth in the early days of my recovery from drug, alcohol and childhood abuse.  This was a relief for me to hear this, as I was angry about many things, but had no desire to become a cruel person.

However I had mastered the art of giving myself and others ... a very cold shoulder at times, and was not fully aware of how this can be a very passive aggressive way of delivering emotional cruelty and becoming a silent bully. Read more »

When we don't know what to do, this is an important time for us.  It is, in my experience, like the middle yellow traffic light signaling for us to take some time, slow down and be cautious. 

Whenever I hear myself or others saying 'I don't know" I remind them and myself of the subtle yellow traffic light, which is wise not to ignore, as it reminds us that we have the option in life to decide not to decide for the moment.  We may well need more time and more information for our head and heart to consider before we are ready to make a commitment either way. Read more »

When that hot feeling of anxiety rises from our gut to become a lump in our throat ....it is simply our cue to pause and self care.  First and foremost before we do anything else. 

Feeling unsafe, upset, overwhelmed and fearful are emotional states that are simply human, and have been all too familiar for me throughout the past fourteen years of my own recovery. Read more »

I put introverts first in this title, because it is the tag I identify with first and foremost.  I am most definitely a pure bred introvert myself.  If we visualise a sliding scale beginning at number 1 for pure bred introverts like myself, then slide up to number five we will find the ambivert personality comfortably sitting there in the middle.  Then continuing on up the scale if we go all the way to number 10 we will meet the pure bred extroverts smiling and chatting like the little rays of sunshine that they are, with all their mates.  Like my husband and a couple of my dearest girlfrie Read more »