Private & Professional Partnership Pitfalls

When it comes to working with lovers, friends, family or spouses it can sometimes be a delicate emotional balancing act.  It requires a sensitive but robust emotional structure.  It is so easy to slide into the habit of bringing personal issues into the workplace and professional problems into the home.

03/01/2010 - 15:53
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Introverts, Extroverts & Ambiverts

I put introverts first in this title, because it is the tag I identify with first and foremost.  I am most definitely a pure bred introvert myself.  If we visualise a sliding scale beginning at number 1 for pure bred introverts like myself, then slide up to number five we will find the ambivert personality comfortably sitting there in the middle.  Then continuing on up the scale if we go all the way to number 10 we will meet the pure bred extroverts smiling and chatting like the little rays of sunshine that they are, with all their mates.  Like my husband and a couple of my dearest girlfrie

03/04/2010 - 09:47
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When Punishment Becomes The Reward

I identify with this blogs title, even though it might sound like absolute madness.   For those who have never comforted themselves through punishment, these words may offer you an insight into others.   Some of us, from time to time, emotionally self sabotage in order to put the brakes on success, love and progress.  It helps us feel calmer and safer.

03/08/2010 - 10:27
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Anxious about Anxiety

When that hot feeling of anxiety rises from our gut to become a lump in our throat ....it is simply our cue to pause and self care.  First and foremost before we do anything else. 

Feeling unsafe, upset, overwhelmed and fearful are emotional states that are simply human, and have been all too familiar for me throughout the past fourteen years of my own recovery.

03/11/2010 - 10:28
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A Doctorate In Denial

The best description I know about explaining the commonly used emotional coping mechanism called Denial is to break the word down.   This acronym sums up the true meaning of this word beautifully and accurately in my experience.

DENIAL = Didn't Even No It's A Lie.

03/15/2010 - 10:22
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Attracted To Rejection

Somehow the adrenalin that accompanied being rejected had become more of a comfort, than any compliment ever was for me.  Whenever I was upset and needed to calm myself,  I used to think hard of who I could start an argument with by phone, by visiting or pretending to run into.  People that I already had an ongoing hurt with were my most sought after, so that I could pick up where we left off.  Their rejection seemed to be helpful.  It became like a distraction, a new focus point so that I didn't have to believe in myself or try to be better or do better.  Their criticism and refusal to let

03/18/2010 - 09:05
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Deciding Not To Decide

When we don't know what to do, this is an important time for us.  It is, in my experience, like the middle yellow traffic light signaling for us to take some time, slow down and be cautious. 

Whenever I hear myself or others saying 'I don't know" I remind them and myself of the subtle yellow traffic light, which is wise not to ignore, as it reminds us that we have the option in life to decide not to decide for the moment.  We may well need more time and more information for our head and heart to consider before we are ready to make a commitment either way.

03/22/2010 - 21:01
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From Controlling To Surrendered

I have always much preferred to feel angry rather than sad.  When I am angry I feel empowered, protected, strong and in control.  When I am sad, I feel vulnerable, weak, exposed and embarrassed.

I have been a person who decided at a young age that it was the wisest move for me to hide my heart and its delicate and sensitive feelings.  As a result, I grew into an adult that held onto this habit at the expense of my own happiness.

It is easier for me to fight with someone who is trying to love me and get closer to me, than it is to surrender to the love I feel for them. 

03/25/2010 - 09:12
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The Cold Shoulder

'Everyone has the right to be angry, but no-one has the right to be cruel'. 

I was told this clear truth in the early days of my recovery from drug, alcohol and childhood abuse.  This was a relief for me to hear this, as I was angry about many things, but had no desire to become a cruel person.

However I had mastered the art of giving myself and others ... a very cold shoulder at times, and was not fully aware of how this can be a very passive aggressive way of delivering emotional cruelty and becoming a silent bully.

03/29/2010 - 11:43
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