Fairy Christmas to you

I was asked to do a segment on a ‘free to air’ Australian network, Channel Ten.  This was just a couple of weeks ago, and I was invited to share tips on Emotional Fitness techniques.

The focus was to help viewers stay sane during the silly season. Christmas Day, today can be one of the most challenging days for many people to get through and stay sane without using "weapons of mass distraction". The favourite weapons of choice on this day for many are usually alcohol, food, chain smoking, excess caffeine and sugar and for some secret pill or drug taking in the family bathroom just to take the edge off of their anxiety.

I hope with all my heart this person isn’t you or someone you love today, however it was me for many years. And as I finished stuffing my second turkey at around 9pm last night a wave of gratitude washed through me as I stood serene and sober in my delightful kitchen feeling genuine joy looking forward to having my gorgeous sons and their girlfriends along with our dearest and closest friends over to share our abundant, festive feast on Christmas Day.

The past years of spending Christmas Day deliberately sitting alone on Surfers Paradise beach in my late teens just so I didn’t have to pretend all was well in my world and be close to my hearts parent Mother Nature hearing  the rhythmic sounds of her voice as the waves calmed my chaotic fears are thankfully long gone. And then there were those Christmases in my early years of recovery when my boys were still small and I had to share them understandably with their Dad on Christmas Day however once they left me, I would lay on my bed just watching the red digital numbers click over, waiting for the day to pass. My first few sober Christmases were along with New Years Eve and my birthday were the toughest days of the year to get through without using the excuse that I was just being MERRY because that is what normal people do at Christmas.

When I was asked to give a summary at the conclusion of my interview, I referred to the simple H.A.L.T system that recovery circles have been using for the past fifty years. H stands for Hungry, A for Angry, L for Lonely and T for Tired. I believe that our hearts emotional GPS system only gets out of balance and we then get lost and overwhelmed within ourselves when we don’t self care enough and pay attention the basic HALT system.

So for me today to remember not to allow myself to get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired will help me way more than 20 glasses of champagne and a joint or ten over could. Not eating breakfast so I can overeat at lunch and sedate myself only costs me self respect and my sense of wellbeing.

And as for anger, well there are many things that happen in families that it would be unhealthy to not feel angry about, so I don’t disrespect myself by pretending I haven’t felt anger sometimes at Christmas.  What I do if it arises, is talk it out with someone who loves me or I write it out, or spend some time with my hearts parents Mother Nature and Father Time.  Getting lost in the clouds, stars or sitting on the beach watching the ocean melts my anger and replaces it with peace. Often the most valuable and wisest advice I can ever receive has been through the voice of nature, cradled in the safe hands of time.

Spending my energy with Father Time accompanied by Mother Nature's beauty combats any loneliness I also might feel. And remembering when my heart is tired even if my body still has energy to burn, that I must halt, stop and rest so I don’t become restless. And once again laying on Mother Nature's lap on a beach or soft cool parkland will recharge my tired heart way more effectively than any caffeine hit can, and she won’t let me crash hours afterwards either.

So for anyone who already hangs out as a lifestyle choice with Father Time and Mother Nature does not need for me to explain the magic of fairies. For those that don’t know what I am talking about, you will find if you take time, and I mean deliberate unrushed time, to be still and stop doing .... That they live in flowers, animal’s fluffy tummies, ladybeetles, butterflies, sparrows, the ocean, stars, children’s giggles, bubbles, music, art and silence. So however you spend your Christmas today, may the fairies be with you, may you look for the magic and find beauty in your world and in your own heart today.

I hope to talk to you again tomorrow, so until then I will share my Word Vitamins for today for you to digest if you wish

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance".          Oscar Wilde