The H.A.L.T. System

Recovery circles have been using the HALT reminder for decades. 

It is a simple reminder system for all human beings to use when they feel emotionally unbalanced.   If you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired your capacity to balance intuition and intellect will be compromised.  These four states for any human being need to be addressed if our quality of self care is lacking.  Respectful relationships start with our relationship to self, for we cannot give to others what we have not got with ourselves.

I also like to add the word Hormonal to the H reminder, being Hungry and Hormonal can be a challenging emotional mix for any of us.  When either gender is going through puberty, pregnancy, menstruation, a mid life crises (libido changes) or menopause, emotional self care is paramount as the body changes gear to enter a new phase of life.

Hungry?   If we don't eat when we are hungry the denial of self care will eat at and cancerously erode our self respect.  Our body requires fuel to power us with energy so we remain functional.  When we deny ourselves our natural appetite we also deprive ourselves of pleasure.  Our ability to relax, experience sensory enjoyment, feel fulfilled and nourished is diminished when we ignore hunger.  We will become hypersensitive in relationship to others and over compensate in inappropriate ways looking for substitutes for pleasure, nourishment, enjoyment and fulfillment from others. Hungry people often struggle with heartfelt intimacy.

Angry?  When anger arises it is an alarm that needs your constructive attention as a priority.   It is helpful to remember anger is a normal human reaction and is not wrong or bad but essential for self preservation.  Ask yourself before you respond "How would a person with self respect manage this?" If you are unsure consult a positive male or female elder that models respect for themselves and others when they are experiencing anger.  I have observed that whenever anger is present so is loss".  Therefore it is often helpful to ask the question when anger arises "What does this person feel they have lost?"  or "What do I feel I have lost?" It is usually a basic human birthright like love, respect or security or the triggered memory of a time when this has happened in the past and been traumatic and remained unresolved. 

So until the anger has been released responsibly it will throw you out of balance like carrying too much in your hands, you will drop something of value unless you stop (halt) and re-centre yourself.

Lonely?  It is a natural desire to yearn for emotional and physical connection with other human beings as we are tribal creatures.  Solitude is an important component of self care but too much time alone can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection.  If you are feeling out of touch and in need of a heartfelt connection with someone you love this must be attended to otherwise we can look for love in all the wrong places.  So ask someone safe who respects you to share some time with you.  If no human company is an available option replacing isolation with an activity that brings you joy and massages self respect often helps us remember that we can be really great company for ourselves by ourselves.

Tired?  When we are tired our intellect and intuition are not operating to their optimum and as a result our resilience on all levels is compromised and we can hit emotional overload very quickly and become unnecessarily stressed.   Ensuring you receive adequate rest and sleep is a basic skill in self respect.  Solid sleep helps reset brain chemistry and re-boot the heart whilst halting any destructive behaviours.  If we don't rest, we become restless.

So this simple H.A.L.T. system is something as a recovering alcoholic, addict that I need to remember every day. For whenever I am emotionally out of balance, it is always due to my neglect of one of these basic elements of self care. 

I am currently spending a great deal of time in my writers cave as I am putting the final touches to the Master Class workbook that will accompany the Master Class Series one due to commence for the first time in Brisbane on August 3, 2010.  So remembering to stop to eat and not let myself get too tired is paramount for me during this busy time. 

For those of you who follow my blog interstate and overseas the Master Class workbook will be available to order in the next couple of weeks.  Even if you are geographically unable to attend the Series of 16 workshops, you will at least be able to experience the format and practice the workouts from the comfort of your own home.

Thanks for your patience with my blogs being a little less frequent and briefer during the lead up to this exciting event, and I look forward to connecting here with you again soon.

So for those of you who sometimes have the tendency to overlook self care, this HALT system may be a helpful reminder.  I wrote this out this morning for I need to remember it as I look at my hectic diary between now and November knowing that if I don't honour the HALT system I will emotionally burn out.  So memory joggers and repetition are very necessary for me as I learn how to maintain self care for I am not a slow learner, just a quick forgetter.

I'd like to leave you with some Word Vitamins from one of my favourite comedians, Lucille Ball.

"Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.  You really have to love and look after yourself to get anything done in this world!"

Aint that the truth!